11+ Things I’m Taking Seriously as I Clock 35.
My sisters and I were chatting recently, and I was reminded that I’ll be turning 35 on December 20, 2026.
I shuddered.
As a single and fishing young lady, I took my last official birthday shoot when I clocked 30, and I detest playing dress-up for studio photos.
By “fishing,” I mean exactly that: deliberately picking, selecting, and throwing back into the pool whatever I don’t like.
So, I started thinking about the little things I could begin doing now, leading up to the lifestyle changes and decisions I want to make as I enter 35.
Back in March 2022, I cut my hair out of frustration. At the time, it had been exactly one year since I resigned from work, and after reflecting on my life during that first year, I felt like I hadn’t made any significant progress.
Letting go of the hair I had been growing since 2006 was a relief of sorts. I had one less thing on my monthly to-do list.
And with that extra time I had bought back for myself, I started working on things I had previously kept putting off.
Things I had thought about. Things I had casually written down. Things I had told myself I would eventually get around to. But I hadn’t really put my back into them.
Now, as I clock 35, I’m taking those actions more seriously.
So, rather than simply having a birthday celebration, I’m thinking about what entering 35 should mean.
What should I start doing (to-do-list)? What should I stop doing (not-to-do-list)? What should I finally take seriously? And what small changes can I make now that could significantly change the way I live moving forward?
This is not a checklist for becoming a “proper adult” nor a list of things you must have achieved by 35.
Just little things that might make this next chapter more intentional.
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1. Give Your Life a New Look:
Go through your life, the type of food you eat, your finances, career/business, relationships, health, spirituality, friendships, grudges, commitments, expectations, skills, habits, boundaries, personal projects. Audit them. Keep what is working and discard the rest. Have the difficult conversations, apologize and close chapters where necessary.
Do whatever you can within your means to create an improvement. It could be a new wardrobe, new hair look, rock a personality you have never tried.
Better sleep. Movement. Dental care. Skin care. Hair. Clothes that actually suit you. Regular check-ups. Eating better.
As one who has been on low cut for the past 4 years, I’m pumped to try a new look. I’m going with dreads, with plans to maintain the hair height at 3 inches.
Read Also: Building Female Legacies for the Modern Woman.
2. Buy Back More Time.
Just like I did with cutting my hair in 2022, find ways to eliminate anything taking up unnecessary time from you.
Ask yourself, “What can I simplify, automate, outsource, or stop doing altogether?” It’s not just about productivity, but to have more life available for yourself.
For me, I built a few web tools to ease my stress over certain parts of my job.
3. Become Financially Harder to “Kill“:
This does not mean necessarily “become rich.”
Build an emergency fund (any kind of emergency you can think of). Reduce unnecessary financial obligations. Increase your earning capacity.
Understand how you make money, how you spend money, how you save money, how you grow money, how you give money freely, plan them deliberately.
Don’t just wing it as you see money, decide the percentage for each based on what you have.
4. Design Your Ideal Ordinary Day:
This doesn’t apply to a dream vacation, birthdays, or Christmas. Just a random Tuesday.
What time do I wake up? Where do I live? What does my work look like? Who do I interact with? What do I eat? How much free time do I have?
Personally, I have this day on Wednesdays. No work, no stress. Just living and observing.
5. Become More Deliberate About Boundaries:
At 35, perhaps the question shouldn’t just be “Who do I want?” but: Who actually deserves access to me?
Friends, romantic prospects, business relationships, acquaintances, even family relationships sometimes need boundaries.
6. Get Serious About Your “Fishing”:
If you are single and fishing, you might as well establish your fishing standards and pay attention to what it is costing you.
- What am I actually looking for?
- What are my non-negotiables?
- What are preferences rather than requirements?
- What red flags am I no longer going to explain away?
And most importantly: Am I also becoming the kind of person who would attract the person I’m fishing for?
7. Build Your Home:
I don’t mean building the actual house when what you can afford is to rent a three-bedroom flat. I mean plan the way your home should operate. What time the household generally wakes up, when the main house door gets shut in the evenings, how many meals you eat daily, at what times, who should prepare them.
What household chores exist? Declutter. Rearrange. Replace things that are broken. Buy things you’ve been postponing. Create an environment that is uniquely you.
8. Learn Something New That Has Nothing to do with making Money:
It could be painting, pottery. Dance. Swimming. Photography. A new language. Gardening. Cooking. A musical instrument. Be comfortable being a beginner at something.
Don’t bother about monetizing every talent. Some things are meant to remain as hobbies.
Me, I’m making plans to acquire and learn to play the cello.
9. Do Something Ridiculous Simply Because You’re 35:
Learn to roller-skate or adult-ballet. Ask a guy out. Pitch a large idea. Host an outrageous dinner/brunch/game-night. Take yourself somewhere completely unexpected. Go and experience cultures beyond your own.
I followed a lady on her 30-country tour on Facebook between the months of July and August.
I have never been one to enjoy the act of being on the road, because I get dizzy a lot, I was inspired by her to start saving and making solo travel plans.
10. Make a Decision About Motherhood:
I genuinely have no interest in carrying pregnancies and I don’t like the idea of paying someone to carry a child for me, so I’m personally opting for adoption.
If motherhood is something you want, and you are not married or have no kids, start deliberately planning for them. What ages would you be open to adopting? Would you prefer a boy, a girl, siblings, or remain open to whatever circumstances bring your way?
If by adoption, where will they stay? Is the home you are currently living in conducive for raising children? If not, what is your improvement plan?
Will the presence of children affect your prospects for getting married if you so desire? Absolutely. How do you intend to navigate this?
11. Think Seriously About How Your Children Will Be Educated:
I’m not opposed to the current educational system in any home country; however, I like to prioritize trainings that have direct economic impact.
I’m beginning to think less about education as a collection of certificates and more about education as preparation for the life a child will actually live.
You are building a business that requires certain trainings for your children to inherit, design the curriculum every child needs to get there. Build discipline and resilience in them. What should they know and practice at a certain age.
If you want them to have military trainings at a certain age, decide it. Plan for it.
12. Document This Chapter Properly:
Put every decision you are making at this time in writing. Create a 35-year-old archive.
Take photographs of your actual life. Your home. Your work. Your siblings. Your friends. Your favourite places. What you eat. What you’re building. What you look like on a normal day.
Years from now, those may mean much more than a heavily edited studio portrait.
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Surprisingly, one of my sisters said 35 has a nice ring to it.
What do you think? Or like my people will say, “Kedu ife iloo?“
